Don’t use these 2 toxic words at work, says executive coach: They ‘will just hold you back’

“Eric” is a program manager at a fast-scaling tech company. He’s hungry for career growth and perfectly positioned to take on more responsibility. He’s eager for exposure to senior management and hopeful he’ll eventually advance to a director-level position. 

Yet despite his ambition and potential, Eric finds himself constantly repeating two toxic words: I’ll wait. 

• “I’ll wait until I’ve finished this major project rollout,” he tells himself when a new leadership opportunity opens up. 
• “I’ll wait until after my quarterly review to bring this up,” he decides when considering whether to pitch an idea to his boss. 
• “I’ll wait until the new year to be firmer about my work hours,” is how he rationalizes answering emails at 11 p.m. yet again.
• “I’ll wait until things are calmer before I ask for a raise,” is what he tells himself, but things never slow down. 

Now, Eric is more of a hypothetical — an amalgamation of real clients I’ve had rather than any one client in particular. But as an executive coach for over a decade, I’ve seen this pattern repeat itself countless times. 

Saying “I’ll wait” may seem reasonable on the surface, but these two little words will just hold you back. 

What I’ve learned from working with thousands of deep-thinking, high-achieving professionals is that “I’ll wait” is usually a form of perfectionism in disguise — a sneaky way of keeping yourself safe from potential failure or criticism. 

You believe you’re being prudent and preparing. You convince yourself that a magical day will arrive when you finally feel ready to take that leap. But in reality, you may just be avoiding discomfort.

These two little words allow you to justify your struggles and keep yourself trapped in people-pleasing and overthinking.  

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If you’re like Eric, you might sacrifice work-life balance as you watch colleagues get promoted ahead of you and feel increasingly frustrated and undervalued. With each “I’ll wait,” you reinforce the false belief that you’re not quite ready, not quite good enough.

These words create a vicious cycle: the longer you wait, the less confident you feel, and the more you stall.

If you keep waiting for the “perfect time,” you’ll be waiting forever. Your situation won’t magically improve “someday” without brave, deliberate action. In fact, your fears might intensify, pushing you further from the confidence, compensation, and recognition you deserve.

Waiting only guarantees more of the same: stress, self-doubt, and dissatisfaction. 

So how do you stop the cycle? 

When you catch yourself saying “I’ll wait,” pause and dig deeper. Ask yourself questions to discern if your hesitation is based on concrete observations or fear-driven feelings and vague notions that might never materialize. Try:

• Is my reason for waiting based on external facts or internal feelings? When you say something like, “I’ll wait to apply for the promotion until the new budget is approved next month, because that’ll determine if the role is funded,” you’re basing your decision on facts. But if you think, “I’ll hold off on applying until I feel more confident in my leadership skills,” emotion could be clouding your approach. 

• What’s the worst that could happen if I act now? Is that outcome truly likely? You might worry, “If I pitch my idea, my boss could reject it and think less of me.” In reality, your manager will probably appreciate your proactivity and creative thinking, even if they don’t implement your idea immediately. 

• Am I waiting for something specific to change or for a vague sense of “readiness”? Compare these two thoughts: “I’ll wait to volunteer for the cross-functional project after I’ve completed my current assignment,” versus “I’ll volunteer when I’ve built enough trust with the engineering team.” The first statement has a clear, time-bound condition, while the second relies on an ambiguous sense of experience that could keep you on pause indefinitely.

Set realistic benchmarks for taking action that don’t demand perfection. For instance, maybe you decide to present in larger meetings after you’ve received positive feedback on three lower-stakes presentations. 

Likewise, break your steps down into smaller, manageable parts. This operates on the psychology of the progress principle, which suggests that hitting milestones can give you the confidence to tackle bigger, more daunting goals. 

Let’s say you’re thinking, “I’ll wait until we have new leadership in place to suggest changes to how we work.” Instead of putting it off, you could start keeping track of what is and isn’t working in your current processes.

You could also chat informally with colleagues to collect different perspectives and ideas. That way, when the new leadership steps in, you’re ready to present a well-rounded case. 

When you expand your ability to sit with tough emotions — like fear of failure or the unknown — you show yourself it’s safe to act despite not having all the answers or any guarantees. You’re less likely to get stuck in procrastination and overthinking because you’re better at navigating through discomfort rather than avoiding it.

Over time, you’ll be less deterred by the potential for setbacks or criticism, which are often the hidden reasons behind “I’ll wait.”

Try out a “now or never” rule for minor decisions. Give yourself just 30 seconds to make a call on everyday choices that don’t require much debate. Whether it’s deciding to share an idea in a meeting, sending a quick reply to an email, or even choosing where to grab lunch, practice making these decisions quickly without getting bogged down by analysis paralysis.

Make it a habit to put yourself in the path of discomfort on a regular basis, too. It doesn’t have to be a big leap — maybe try out new software that’s always seemed intimidating or help on a project that’s a little outside your usual scope. Even something as simple as initiating conversations with coworkers you don’t often speak to can count. 

As you get used to handling these micro-decisions and mini-challenges, you’ll find it much easier to banish “I’ll wait” and step up when opportunities come your way.

Melody Wilding, LMSW is an executive coach and author of “Trust Yourself: Stop Overthinking and Channel Your Emotions for Success at Work.” Get a free copy of Chapter One here. 

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