The pursuit of happiness — enshrined in the Declaration of Independence as one of our unalienable rights along with life and liberty — is in reality big and daunting. Sometimes, it can feel difficult to know where to start, especially when American culture and conventional wisdom tends to get it so wrong most of the time.
Having spent the last 10 years immersed in the science of happiness and writing my book “New Happy,” I know there are simple yet powerful, research-backed steps you can take to experience more happiness today. The more you practice, the more instinctive they’ll become.
These five small steps, sprinkled throughout your day, have the potential to transform it.
1. Share your feelings with others
Stephanie Harrison of The New Happy
It’s far better to share your emotions with someone you trust than to keep your feelings to yourself, research shows.
For example, sharing positive news with someone in your life can increase your own joy and give them a chance to experience it, too. If someone is there to hold your hand when you’re in pain, it reduces the intensity of your suffering.
2. Focus on the next step more than the end goal
Stephanie Harrison of The New Happy
Pursuing meaningful goals is an integral part of living a happy life. But goals that feel overwhelming can lead people to procrastinate.
Remind yourself that you don’t have to achieve your objective today; you can just move a little bit closer. Every action you take and every forward movement you notice can enhance the hope and motivation you feel.
Start small. Set a timer and say to yourself, “For the next 10 minutes, I’m going to do something that moves me toward my goals.” For example, if your goal is to start your own business, brainstorm potential names or products until the timer goes off.
3. Perform an act of kindness
Stephanie Harrison of The New Happy
Helping other people is one of the most reliable and powerful ways to feel better. Kindness can positively affect your emotional and even physical well-being — lowering blood pressure and cortisol, a stress hormone.
Take a moment to think about who in your life is having a hard time and what you might do to support them. It can be as simple as sending a text message, sharing a funny video, dropping off a meal, or inviting them to spend time together.
4. Ask for help when you need it
Stephanie Harrison of The New Happy
The culture we live in, which I call Old Happy, teaches us that we need to do everything by ourselves. As a result, you might start to believe that asking for help means you’re “giving up” or “failing.”
But it actually shows you’re committed to persevering, improving, and growing. When you’re struggling, consider who in your life has done what you’re trying to do and what type of support you need. Then reach out and ask for it.
We wildly underestimate how much other people want to help us. Since performing acts of kindness makes people happier, you’re giving someone a chance to experience happiness, too.
5. Notice the good that’s around you
Stephanie Harrison of The New Happy
Thanks to our brain’s negativity bias and Old Happy’s cultural conditioning, it’s all too easy to focus on what we don’t have: the promotion we haven’t gotten, the item we want to buy, or the ways in which we don’t feel good enough.
But studies show that the more you refocus your attention on what you do have, the more content you’ll be. So ask yourself: “What’s going right, right now?”
There’s a lot to be thankful for: a helpful colleague, a chat with a good friend, a delicious meal, or a beautiful sunset. You just have to pause and notice it.
Stephanie Harrison is the founder of The New Happy, an organization advancing a new philosophy of happiness. She is an expert in happiness, speaker, designer, and author of the book “New Happy: Getting Happiness Right in a World That’s Got It Wrong.” Follow her on Instagram, TikTok and LinkedIn.
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